|"War is Over!"; a New work of mine.|
This is something came in to my mind while I was watching Saving Private Ryan (I honestly don't know why ) Hope you will like it. Rendering time 17 min. Please leave any positive/negative critique to help me to improve my next work.
read 410 times
5/22/2012 2:17:35 PM (last edit: 5/22/2012 2:17:35 PM)
This needs to be a short film of some sort.
So back to work :-)
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5/22/2012 2:24:38 PM (last edit: 5/22/2012 2:24:38 PM)
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5/22/2012 2:31:39 PM (last edit: 5/22/2012 2:31:39 PM)
It's all good... except the head. Seriously, the hands are great, the body's great, the background's great but it's all let down (in my opinion) by the eyes. They're too wide or something. Fix them and it'll all be great.
read 385 times
5/22/2012 3:19:05 PM (last edit: 5/22/2012 3:19:05 PM)
I have never finished anything in 3dsMax + studied electronics, so feel free to ignore...
The pattern on the clothing is a bit odd...I know it is a sweater, not a shirt...so not sure if this makes sense...striped shirts are either vertically striped or horizontally striped, but not both (vertically striped = makes you look slim, etc)...the vertical pattern of the chest should also cover the shoulder area and the sleeves connect at an angle, not horizontal. Like this:
The visible upper arm has a bulge in it, where I would expect creases rather than a bulge; currently my mind is confused between 'old man' concept versus 'bodybuilder'.
Something in the forehead that makes me think of botox...not sure...perhaps more texturing/creases as the cheek /eye area seem a bit more wrinkled.
If I hold something between thumb and forefinger, my fingers bend more...the distinct sharp bends/creases between the phalanges seem more like a gentle curve over the entire length of the finger. The fingernails seem a touch too invisible.
The suspenders leave an impression where my mind thinks of packing strip / seatbelt a bit.
After some thought:
- the black material is too shiny for cloth and too 'weave pattern' textured to be leather, needs to be a bit thicker/wider?
- Suspenders hold up your pants. They need more tension?
- the clip is not correct; it generally is one of those crocodile teeth snap clips or similar?
- For the old school grandad ones, they are crossed behind the back and are angled towards the neck area more. Currently the suspenders add to the broad shoulder bodybuilder feel.
I shouldn't comment and am in no position to say 'well done'; but...well done.
read 335 times
5/23/2012 12:17:22 AM (last edit: 5/23/2012 12:42:15 AM)
Thanks everyone for their comments.. I will try to improve in the next work of mine! (btw, i'm just a 22yo artist who is struggling my way up :D) and @ c0 ; your opinion really matters bro. thanks for pointing out many errors I have done. but about the shirt pattern, I think you noticed the pattern in the arms are horizontal because he is posing near to a T-pose.. and then the vertical strips of that area becomes horizontal.
Many thanks for pointing out many errors I have done. Will try to improve in my next work.
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5/23/2012 5:51:02 AM (last edit: 5/23/2012 5:51:02 AM)
That looks brilliant mate. Oh yeah that shirt needs better texturing / mapping.
Keep working on it.
read 276 times
5/23/2012 7:36:21 AM (last edit: 5/23/2012 7:36:21 AM)
What renderer and hardware are you using to get it to render in 17 minutes??
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read 255 times
5/23/2012 9:51:16 AM (last edit: 5/23/2012 9:51:16 AM)
The seams on the shirt between the arms and the chest-part, seems a bit too high on his shoulder.
Most shirts have their seams where your shoulder ends, by the sharpest corner.
The head looks wrong. The eyes seem to be too big, eyeballs should be around 24 - 25 mm in diameter, the ears lack definition, sortof looks like a thick piece of flat skin growing out of the side of his head.
Something about the shading or the texture on his head also makes it seem very flat/soft rubber-like.
Other than that, its all good. Keep up!
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read 244 times
5/23/2012 10:08:07 AM (last edit: 5/23/2012 10:08:07 AM)