| Jokes! |
 mrgrotey |
Havent had a jokes thread in ages so I thought i try to get one going.
Post up your jokes! remember this is a public forum so nothing racist, you might find it funny but others will get very insulted.
I'll start.
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I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
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Two heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care...
One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.
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I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?
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read 1268 times
2/8/2010 10:28:49 AM (last edit: 2/8/2010 10:34:39 AM)
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| Erm Kahoff |
Who is the coolest guy in the Hospital?
The ultrasound guy.
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What does Snoop Dog use for wood work?
Da chizzel.
REGOON
read 1244 times
2/8/2010 10:41:42 AM (last edit: 2/8/2010 10:41:42 AM)
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| STRAT |
A really depressed looking RAC man passed me this morning in his van. looks like he was on his way to a breakdown.
SJLEWORTHY.COM
read 1240 times
2/8/2010 10:46:31 AM (last edit: 2/8/2010 10:46:31 AM)
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| Sir_Manfred |
Why does Michael Jackson always wear too small underwear?
They're not his.
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Michael Jackson, Adolf Hitler and a class of school children were flying in a plane.
The plane had two engines and suddenly, one of them catches fire in midair.
Hitler quickly gets two parachutes.
Hitler says to Michael, "Here, take this!"
M: "What about the children?"
H: "Fuck 'em!"
M: "Do we have the time?"
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Yeah...
Marrry Xmas, me hearties!
http://www.Freds3D.com
read 1213 times
2/8/2010 12:23:08 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 12:23:08 PM)
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| st22041967 |
Did you ever get half way though eating a horse and think?
“I’m not as hungry as I thought I was…”?
Things I say go here
read 1201 times
2/8/2010 12:37:51 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 12:38:10 PM)
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| st22041967 |
There where 2 fish in a tank, one fish turned to the other and said
“Do you know how to drive this thing?”
Things I say go here
read 1197 times
2/8/2010 12:39:20 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 12:39:20 PM)
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| Garp |
Two blondes girls talking:
- Do you smoke after sex?
- I don't know, I never looked.
"Basically, a computer is a very fast moron. It does exactly
what you tell it to do. And that can be most humbling."
Bjarne Stroustrup
read 1176 times
2/8/2010 2:20:54 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 2:20:54 PM)
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| mathias-soeholm |
Why did the man wanted to see the butterfly
Because he threw the butter out of the window!
read 1171 times
2/8/2010 2:24:49 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 2:24:49 PM)
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| vlad61 |
-after i read about the dangers of drinking, i quit reading...-
my favorite so far has been the dwarf one...lol
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read 1164 times
2/8/2010 2:31:08 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 2:31:08 PM)
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| ubik19761 |
A man and woman were having dinner together for their anniversary. While waiting for their food to arrive the conversation went stale. So the husband decides to ask a question to get the conversation going. He says, "Honey, tell me something that will make me really happy and really sad at the same time." After a few seconds she replies, "Well, you have a bigger penis than all of your friends."
Tim Daggy
"Play the hand that's dealt to you."
read 1146 times
2/8/2010 3:02:12 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 3:02:12 PM)
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| Dave |
Err...
"Why did the man wanted to see the butterfly
Because he threw the butter out of the window!"
Shouldn't it be:
Why did the man throw the butter out of the window?
Because he wanted to see the butterfly
?
read 1135 times
2/8/2010 3:10:32 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 3:10:32 PM)
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| Westcoast13 |
lol @ Dave!! Joke Fail. :D
read 1126 times
2/8/2010 3:17:48 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 3:17:48 PM)
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| npcph |
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband, "but she's a great cook and really good with the kids."
read 1111 times
2/8/2010 3:35:20 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 3:35:20 PM)
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| advance-software |
How many artists does it take to change a light bulb ?
Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks.
read 1087 times
2/8/2010 4:19:36 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 4:19:36 PM)
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| npcph |
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."
read 1073 times
2/8/2010 4:34:31 PM (last edit: 2/8/2010 4:34:31 PM)
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